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Christmas at the Movies #1: Elf

Everyone wants to belong. It’s one of the most basic human emotional needs, right after health and safety. At some level we want to find our group - Our tribe - Where we fit and who we fit in with.

We’re deeply social creatures. We want to know others and have them know us. Having a sense of belonging helps us thrive.

We have all felt the pain of being rejected or feeling like an outcast. Being an outcast can affect a person’s well-being, health, all arenas of their life. Throughout history social exile was considered a death sentence.

We can identify with Buddy in the movie “Elf” as he tries to figure out where he fits. A study of the happiest people showed a common denominator – happy people were socially well-connected. They had great social skills, a great social tribe and great relationships with family, friends and work.
What does the Bible have to say about this? The Christmas story in Luke refers to the peace and good will God desires for us.  

Luke 2:13-14

Jesus tears down walls of separation and builds bridges of connection.

Ephesians 2:11-19

That is our job, as His church. as well: To be bridge builders – not wall builders

5 Ideas for Living a Life of Belonging:

1. Recognize Your Legitimate Need to Belong.

The very nature of God – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – is team, partnership, and belonging.

We are created with a normal and strong desire to belong.  And along with that, we have a desire to independent at the same time. 

Don’t let your independence drive outrun your belonging drive. We all need tribes to belong to in order to flourish.

2. Belong From Security Not For Security.

1 John 4:19

It’s simple, but it’s still truth. The One who knows you best, loves you most. Know you can love because you are loved.

Insecurity can make us compromise our values. Sometimes the desire to belong can override our desire to do what’s right.

Look to God for your love. Bring God’s love to your tribe - Don’t just get love from your tribe.

3. Improve Your Belonging Quotient.

Colossians 3:12-14

Work to be a healthy belonger. Work to be: Contributing, kind, compassionate, caring and deferring to others.

Some studies show that the happiness that emerges from helping other people far outlasts happiness derived from pursuing pleasure. So - you’ll never be happy in this church – or any other – until you actually get involved!  Move beyond the experience of church and move to belong. 

You’ll never fulfill your potential as a Christian until you get planted in a local church. Get involved - not because we need more workers but because we want to see you become a healthy Christian!

Improve your belonging quotient in all areas of life.

4. Choose Healthy Tribes to Belong to.

2 Corinthians 6:14-17 (Message)

The average person can belong to typically 3 to 5 different tribes.

When you choose your tribe, you choose your life. You will become like the people you hang out with.

Belonging is really a big part of what church is all about. Church is not a meeting we share – it’s a life we share.

Make church one of your main tribes.  We are not asking you to come to church - We are asking you to belong to a family.

5. Jesus Makes Us Belong.

Jesus is the One who unites us.

Ephesians 2:16

We are all very different in age, background, economy and race. What brings us together – is that we love Jesus.

Whatever differences – or separators - we have can be erased under the lordship of Jesus.

Make the decision to move from rejected to belonging.

The first step is to go to the One who loves you most. Find the right tribe to connect with – get involved – love and be loved!